Monday, October 30, 2006

elementary school

pictures

Okay anyone who knows me knows that I hate taking pictures let alone letting others see me, but oh well.

Me and my mom on my birthday

me and Brenda at the concert

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Just Me Report

On Thursday was possibly the best concert I have ever been to. It was Mercy Me, Audio Adrenaline and Phil Wickham. It was a part of Audio Adrenaline's last tour. The lead singer is having problems with his vocal cords, so they are breaking up the band. All I have to say is that they ROCK!! Oh I also have to say that I wish I had discovered them many years ago so I could have possibly seen more of their concerts. I was dancing, singing and screaming. I had such a good time. Then that night I went out with some of the youth and this girl Luana from my church. She is about my age. I wasn't gonna go because I needed to study for a spanish test the next morning, but I went anyway. We had so much fun! The next morning I took my test and I think I did pretty well, Praise God!!!!! So for the rest of the morning I was on high on life, even though I hadn't showered to make more time for studying, and I forgot my purse, and I couldn't find my debit card, and they keep screwing up my schedule at work. I was praising God. I knew, however, that the fall would come, and I wondered if I would still be praising God. Well the rest of yesterday was pretty much wasted and by the end of today I am tired and supremely glad the day is over. I won't go into details, but I can tell you today was pretty bad. So did I worship God even in the storm? Well through about 3/4 of the day I would say yes. As I was on my home from work I even managed a smile on my face and to sing a beautiful song to God. Later on I can't say I was in the best of moods, and I started to let it show. It is a little discouraging but the good part of today shows me that through God I have truly come a long day. From the beginning of yesterday morning until today I would have been a horrible person to put up with. But God is working His wonderful work making me stronger for the big struggles ahead.


Anyhoo. I will be posting pictures from the concert later!!!! Bye ya'll.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Today

Today has been a pretty hard day for me. From time to time throughout my life I find myself getting into these "moods". I don't want to do anything and I feel completely sorry for myself. I suppose it could be some kind of depression. I'm not sure. I try to pull myself out of it and instead of running to God I find myself running away from Him and to food or movies or anything that I can use as an escape. The really bad part is that I don't give it to God, but also I have a past of using drugs and alcohol to escape. I still am trying to run away instead of face my problems. I suppose by composing this blog I am trying to deal with the "problem".

Today the problem is that I feel a bit undesirable. Ok so I feel a lot that way. I see many men who look at my physical attributes, my chest, my butt, etc. However, no one seems to be interested in me. No one seems to want to know more about me. The only person who I have any hope in chooses to be many miles away. Now I must say that there are extenuating circumstances in his situation. But I just can't shake this. There has been one interested person since this other person left, but he has decided that I am not the one, but someone else is. This is fine for me because this person doesn't have the most desirable personality. Also it's just that I watch as other guys actually seek girls out and want to talk to them and spend time with them. Why doesn't anyone want to do that with me? What's wrong with me?

Today I believe that God would have me realize that I must depend on Him and Him alone. My spiritual side says yes that is all you need! My fleshly side says I want more. It's funny because I feel like an oddball. I suppose working at a new job can do that. Although I have made acquaintances with many. But what I have been hearing a lot is that we are not to look like this world. We should not fit in easily. I understand this in my head, I just need it to fall down to my heart. I have friends who love me and need me. I guess I run away from them because they need me to support them because they go through so many problems. I feel like I can only fall back on God. Of course that is the way it is supposed to be. The problem is that I'm lonely. I feel like everyone else has their life in full swing. They know what they're doing and they know what's in store for them. I know this isn't really true, but when you're alone a lot all there is are the voices in your head. Granted these may be your own voices but they are there. I'm just lonely.....

Monday, October 16, 2006

ITUNES

Well I am very happy to say my ipod and itunes are in sync! Some would say "big deal, they're supposed to be anyway". Well for the longest time mine were not. I had reformatted my computer (or whatever it is you do, when you erase everything and start over from new). I am sad to say that I had not backed up any of the programs on the computer other than the standard stuff you have to do when you first get the computer or what already comes with it. Anyhoo. I lost all my songs on itunes and was afraid if I plugged the ipod onto the computer I would lose all my stuff. Although this would have never had happened I was convinced of it. So luckily I had bought a charging system that would plug into the wall and into the car. So I did some research on Apple's sight in the discussion panel. They talked about this one thing called yamipod. I tried it out and either I couldn't figure it out or it wasn't intended for what I wanted to use it. So then I found this other program called PodUtility, or something like that. With a little help from an article from the ipod lounge I was able to take all the songs off my ipod and put it on to itunes! Success! Yes! But then, oh no! I kept getting this message that there was like 38 errors, and these songs were not authorized to be played on this computer. I was so bummed. I could understand if I had illegally gotten this stuff then ok. But one of the major cds I couldn't access was one I bought and manually imported onto itunes. So I saw the cd on itunes and I clicked on one of the songs just to see what would happen. So apparently all I had to do was enter my itunes password and it was all good! Yes! Thank you Jesus! The only thing is that the program I used is like a demo or something and they want registration and eventually payment. Right now funds are in the red so sorry. I hope it doesn't screw with anything. Well that is my long harrowing tale!