Why is it that I love attention from guys? I used to be really promiscuous, but thank God I am not anymore. I will not be returning to that lifestyle, but I love to flirt and I love it when guys pay attention to me. Knowing that this is one of my weaknesses, I must turn my attention to God and pray about it. He took away drugs, drinking, smoking and promiscuity from me. Now from time to time I may feel like having a drink, but only like one. I may feel like smoking every now and again, but I pray about it and God gives me the strength to get over the craving. I know that He can help me get through this, too.
The problem I have that is related to this is that I really really miss my ex boyfriend right now. Is it because I want to be with him and truly miss him, or is it because I want the attention he used to give me? I am a bit lonely, but definitely better than I used to be. That is I mean to say that I am handling it better than before, thanks to God. I throw these questions out there, not that i expect anyone to answer them, but just to ask. I do this to kind of sort things out in my head. I need to pray about it and ask God to help me get through it, and if there is anything I need to understand about why I am going through it.
Why is it that God rescues us again and again, but we still question things? Why do we not just say ok God is going to rescue me from this one, so no worries? I suppose in my case it is because I am still a "young" christian. I know I must grow and mature alot in my walk with Jesus, and I look forward to every step, no matter how hard. You know I used to believe that as a believer I would sort of "plateau" one day. I would get to the point where there were no more struggles with sin and I would be on cruise control. Of course God slapped me around a bit (haha just kidding) and showed me that doesn't happen for ANYONE. So I guess my question in the first sentence of this paragraph is me just complaining and being a dork. Oh gee, look two things I'm really good at.
Ok. I think I'm done for now.
Friday, June 23, 2006
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Fear
Well here I have gone through another day. I have about 50 dollars to my name. Honestly part of me is scared. I don't know where the money will come from to pay my bills. Work in the serving industry has been slow. I don't know where the money will come from, but I do know this: God is good and faithful. He will rescue me. I may not like the way I am rescued, but He will do it. I know that I will get a few bumps and bruises along the way and it will be completely uncomfortable. The truth is though, I will learn from it. I must continue to learn to put my eyes on Him and my faith in Him. People probably think I'm crazy. How can I know that this so-called God will come through for me? He's done it a million times before and I know He will do it again and again. Not only has He come through for me, but for countless others as well. Even if I didn't have all those other things to look at and remember, there is His word, the Bible. No matter what supposed evidence they have about evolution, the Bible has never been proven wrong. It has survived thousands of years. I for one will continue to put my trust in Him through the Bible. He promises in His word that He will never leave us or forsake us. He says He knows the plans He has for us, to prosper us not to harm us. I believe and I always will.
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