Family and.... failure?

This week was chuseok here in South Korea. Chuseok is bascially the korean thanksgiving. A little bit of history tells us that when the harvest would come in, or right before, koreans would take a break and visit family. They never had days off except for chuseok and the lunar new year. Many people had moved away from home to find work in the cities. So first chance they got they would make the trip home. This time of year becomes horrendous as far as traffic is concerned because people are still making the mass exodus home. It's also time for people to visit cemeteries. They make offerings to ancestors honoring them, and thanking them for everything they have.

We had school Monday and Friday. Tuesday we were off and we really didn't do anything at all. We just relaxed. Wednesday, the official day of Chuseok, our boss Mr. Kang invited us to have lunch with he and his family. By the end we were sufficiently stuffed and satisfied. We spent the night at school doing a bit of work. Then we settled in for the night, because we had to wake up extremely early.

The next morning we made for the subway station to take a 2 1/2 hour journey. We were headed to Suwon to see my family. I have two uncles and two aunts here in korea. We got there at about 10. We ate lots of good food again! I got to see all my aunts and uncles and some of my cousins. We hung out at the house and then we went to the Korean Folk Park. It's basically a park showcasing how koreans used to live. We hung out with my cousin Younguk and had a blast. It was so much fun! I am so blessed to have been able to spend that time with my family. It was amazing and still continues to touch my heart even now. I've never experienced what it is like to have a big blood related extended family. I never knew I was missing anything, but man was I. I can't wait to go see them again. Who knew that this is where God wanted me to be, to see them.

Well the other side of the coin holds a bit of failure for me. I've also been entrusted with the task of teaching and loving these children. I have to admit this has not been my first priority. God, however, has been working on my heart. He's shown me that by not being organized and ready I'm losing control and my kids aren't learning like they should be. That changes starting Monday morning. It means working hard and like crazy, but it's what I'm here to do and what I need to make as my priority. Don't get me wrong, I have been working and trying. But I have not been working or trying as hard as I could. My first rule for my kids is to try your best, or put forth your best effort. It's my turn to do this and to model it for the kids. Am I up to the task? Maybe, maybe not. Either way I know this:

Commit your works to the LORD
And your plans will be established.
Proverbs 16:3

I know that if I give this to Him and work as hard as I can, He will establish my plans (He will be the one to bring success to my plans but I have to commit myself and what I do to Him). I'm not saying He needs my help or this will happen because of my own effort. But I now realize that He wants me to be a teacher, and I need to learn to throw my whole heart into it. Sure there are times when He just gives us something or blesses us with something or it just comes to us because He puts it there. But there are other times where we have to busy ourselves about His business and learn and grow from it. This is my desire.

Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.
Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
Psalm 37:4-7

So with a light heart but a heavy mind, I move on and get on with the journey. I'm not depressed or sad or upset. I'm resolved to doing what I know I have to do. He's set this road before me and I'm ready to walk it. Please join me by praying with me and for me.

Chuseok

So here we are celebrating our 1 month anniversary of arriving here in the Republic of South Korea. I have to say that it has gone by really fast.
I am loving it here. I admit that every once in a while I feel the pangs of missing home. It is not that often, but it does happen. I am happy here. God has blessed me immensely. In fact today was the second time I felt like I was in a foreign country. The first time was when we arrived at the airport and there were korean people everywhere! It only happened for a moment, but it was there. God is keeping my heart here, though. The honeymoon is not over!

So Wednesday is Chuseok or the Korean Thanksgiving. Families will go back to their hometowns to visit family, eat rice cake, and visit graves of those who have gone before. It started almost as a way to thank ancestors for the harvest and what has been provided. To some degree, many koreans still do this. Now while my family will probably do this on Wednesday, my prayer is that somehow they will take me to see my grandmother's grave on Thursday. I wasn't horribly close to my grandma, but I remember that she was kind to me and loved me. I want to see it for my mom. I'm pretty sure my mom has been there, but I think it would be good to do that. I think it would be good to represent the family.

I am going to enjoy my 3 days off. Yes we get 3 days off in the middle of the week. It's pretty awesome. I will miss my kids, but sometimes you have to be away from someone to miss them ;) I'll probably get some schoolwork done. Maybe! I'll probably clean, too. Maybe!

Curiouser and curiouser....

This week has been extremely interesting. What's even more interesting is that I say this week and it's only Monday! I guess I mean the past 5 or 7 days has been interesting. School has been good and crazy. My kids seem to be getting what I am teaching them, so that is good. On the other hand it is a big struggle to get some of them to do anything. I pray God gives me more patience. Please pray the same for me! :)

I'm also asking for prayer because this week I start tutoring two students in my fifth and sixth grade english class. See, what I do is trade my math for their teacher's english. ok maybe that wasn't that clear, and I'm supposed to be teaching English. Great. Anyhoo. He teaches my fourth graders math and I teach his fifth and sixth graders english. Ok. Back to the original point. These two girls need extra tutoring in english. I mean the language, not the subject. Mostly I will help them with their homework, but the goal is overall improvement. I'm asking for wisdom and knowledge from Almighty God Himself as to how to help these girls. I don't want them to walk away not knowing anything, and to be quite honest, I don't want to look like the dumb teacher who doesn't know anything. So perhaps my prayer request is a bit selfish, but it is also for good. ;)

In my selfishness, I also ask that you pray this for me. (thanks Sanford if you are reading)

Ephesians 1:15-19

¹⁵For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, ¹⁶I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. ¹⁷I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. ¹⁸I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, ¹⁹and his incomparably great power for us who believe.

I will pray this for you all. I love you all and I miss you. I cry as I write this because God is touching my heart, my very soul. He is using this time in my life (that is sometimes such a struggle (I will probably have gray hairs ;)) and making me stronger for this moment. I am eternally grateful and I love my savior!

Open House and 1st Day

I really wanted to think of a more creative title, but I'm pretty worn out.

Yesterday was open house. I had a list of 7 students. Of those I met 3 of their parents. I did meet another student's parents. He had just registered that day. It was good. I was a little nervous, but pretty comfortable. There was only 1 parent that made me a bit nervous, but I think it was just me. Then one of the parents decided to take all the teachers out to dinner. It was pretty awesome. I came home smelling of bacon grease and stuffed. We then proceeded to do p90x and I almost died. But it was great!!

Today was the first day of school. The kids were super well behaved (of course because it was the first day ;), but I don't think I did what I thought I would, if that makes sense.

The day went by pretty quickly. I don't know if what I planned was good enough or low enough for their level, but they worked their brains off.

Tomorrow I will be teaching english to the 5th and 6th graders. This is going to be a bit challenging because there are 17 students. Then, there is a student who has learning disabilities. I know it will be tough, but I know God will get me through it.

Well after school (half day) another parent bought us lunch (eating way too much!). We ate a bunch and all the teachers hung out. Then we sat at a nice little cafe. I guess think Kinley's or The Bagel Cafe and kind of Starbucksy. We did some work and we shared some stories that made us cry.

These students are really in a bad place. Some have great families, but educationally they are behind. Some have horrible families and are educationally behind, or are not. It's a big mix of students who need lots of love and attention. They need a lot of prayer and so do we. It won't be easy for us to have help our students go through this. We may feel stressed, but more importantly we may be down because we can't help them the way we want to. They go through so much and laws and customs are different here, making it next to impossible for us to help them. However, we can pray for them. We can love them. We may never see the fruit of this and that will be the hardest part. But Abraham only saw the tiniest part of God's promise to him come true. We must continue on because this is where He has us, because those kids need us, and because we need those kids.

(Getting off the soapbox) We did a little home shopping and I got some Bori cha! yay! I love the food here. I have yet to crave american food. The only problem is that koreans eat and eat and eat. Oh and they are still skinny. So I've gotten a few stares here and there but I haven't let it get to me. I'm trying to work on it but everyone wants to take us out to eat. The good thing is that I've saving lots of money but I'm still stuffed. I plan on cutting out most rice and some noodles, but who knows how that will go. So please pray for me on that.

Alright ya'll. This is it for tonight. Short and sweet I know. I have to get up early. There is a typhoon coming and school is still in session for us but we will see what happens.

Numbers 6:24-26

Tired and Not Ready!

Well. I tried uploading this video. hope it worked. my computer is weird so if there is lag, sorry!

Tick Tock Tick Tock

Well time is running out. Charissa and I are leaving in 17 days. I've packed and mailed and I still have more to pack and mail! There is so much I wanna take with me, but I am reminded of (and convicted by) the part in the bible where Jesus sends the disciples out to spread the Gospel.

Mark 6: 6b-13

Then Jesus went around teaching from village to village. ⁷Calling the Twelve to him, he sent them out two by two and gave them authority over evil spirits.

⁸These were his instructions: "Take nothing for the journey except a staff—no bread, no bag, no money in your belts. ⁹Wear sandals but not an extra tunic. ¹⁰Whenever you enter a house, stay there until you leave that town. ¹¹And if any place will not welcome you or listen to you, shake the dust off your feet when you leave, as a testimony against them."

¹²They went out and preached that people should repent. ¹³They drove out many demons and anointed many sick people with oil and healed them.

He tells them not to take anything extra with them. I tell you I have pared and pared and pared some more down! It's hard. You wanna have enough but not too much and you aren't sure where that point is especially because this is your first trip there. Technically this is my second trip, but i don't think I can remember all we took for 2 weeks when I was 8! Not to mention, my mom planned it all.

All that aside, I am feeling a bit spiritually dry and I know it's because I'm letting all the stuff get in the way. My "image" seems to be more important than what God wants. Lord, heal my heart. Forgive my unbelief, my disobedience. To be quite honest all this stuff is adding stress to stress on top of stress! I want to be done with the stress. I know that in a week and a half all of this will not matter because I will have more to concentrate on. It is still so hard!

On a side note, the support and love that has been pouring in is amazing. So many people are surrounding me and lifting me up, that I am overwhelmed by it all sometimes. God is so good to me and I don't deserve it. I think I might know a tiny bit what it means for Him to lavish His love on me.

Here I am....Lord send me!

This has been my prayer for a number of years. Not knowing what was going on with my life, or the plan that God had, I was desperate to find the place that He had for me. After having a pretty successful run in college, I'd suddenly hit a brick wall. I couldn't pass this test for the life of me! I could not graduate. My focus turned from God to everything else. I became depressed. I thought I could have a successful career as a teacher if only God would let me! I blamed Him. I blamed myself for not being prepared. I blamed others for distracting me. I just needed an answer and I couldn't understand why I didn't have one. This all started in December of 08. Fast forward to April 2010. I've just found out about a teaching position open in a christian school in South Korea. As sort of a joke I told my friend Charissa that I wanted to fill that position. Even though I was partially joking, I wanted to be a part of this. So, I got the position. They preferred a teacher with a degree and who was certified. I was not that teacher. They gave me the position without so much as a second interview! It was God. Then I found out I had to come up with the money for a plane ticket, and they would reimburse me once I got there. How was I gonna come up with at least $1200? Just the other day someone told me not to worry about it, it was taken care of! What?! It was God. I also need to send a bunch of stuff to South Korea and that's gonna cost a lot of money. A friend gave me some money specifically for that reason. It was God. I also wanted to get some vaccines before I went to South Korea. Although unnecessary, they were recommended and I wanted to be protected. Another friend gave me some money for that! It was God. My parents don't need any extra money, but my mom had wanted some money to take me shopping for some clothes and to send me to South Korea with some spending money until I got paid the first time. At about the time she made this request known to God her friend offered a part time job in her shop downtown. So, now she has the extra money she wanted to use to help me. It was God. Things are coming together. And let me be the first to say that I don't deserve any of this! God is providing things for me that I could never have gotten myself. This is the beginning of a major adventure in my life. More than that, this is the continuation of God building up my faith in the most amazing way!

PRAISE THE LORD