Tired and Not Ready!

Well. I tried uploading this video. hope it worked. my computer is weird so if there is lag, sorry!

Tick Tock Tick Tock

Well time is running out. Charissa and I are leaving in 17 days. I've packed and mailed and I still have more to pack and mail! There is so much I wanna take with me, but I am reminded of (and convicted by) the part in the bible where Jesus sends the disciples out to spread the Gospel.

Mark 6: 6b-13

Then Jesus went around teaching from village to village. ⁷Calling the Twelve to him, he sent them out two by two and gave them authority over evil spirits.

⁸These were his instructions: "Take nothing for the journey except a staff—no bread, no bag, no money in your belts. ⁹Wear sandals but not an extra tunic. ¹⁰Whenever you enter a house, stay there until you leave that town. ¹¹And if any place will not welcome you or listen to you, shake the dust off your feet when you leave, as a testimony against them."

¹²They went out and preached that people should repent. ¹³They drove out many demons and anointed many sick people with oil and healed them.

He tells them not to take anything extra with them. I tell you I have pared and pared and pared some more down! It's hard. You wanna have enough but not too much and you aren't sure where that point is especially because this is your first trip there. Technically this is my second trip, but i don't think I can remember all we took for 2 weeks when I was 8! Not to mention, my mom planned it all.

All that aside, I am feeling a bit spiritually dry and I know it's because I'm letting all the stuff get in the way. My "image" seems to be more important than what God wants. Lord, heal my heart. Forgive my unbelief, my disobedience. To be quite honest all this stuff is adding stress to stress on top of stress! I want to be done with the stress. I know that in a week and a half all of this will not matter because I will have more to concentrate on. It is still so hard!

On a side note, the support and love that has been pouring in is amazing. So many people are surrounding me and lifting me up, that I am overwhelmed by it all sometimes. God is so good to me and I don't deserve it. I think I might know a tiny bit what it means for Him to lavish His love on me.

Here I am....Lord send me!

This has been my prayer for a number of years. Not knowing what was going on with my life, or the plan that God had, I was desperate to find the place that He had for me. After having a pretty successful run in college, I'd suddenly hit a brick wall. I couldn't pass this test for the life of me! I could not graduate. My focus turned from God to everything else. I became depressed. I thought I could have a successful career as a teacher if only God would let me! I blamed Him. I blamed myself for not being prepared. I blamed others for distracting me. I just needed an answer and I couldn't understand why I didn't have one. This all started in December of 08. Fast forward to April 2010. I've just found out about a teaching position open in a christian school in South Korea. As sort of a joke I told my friend Charissa that I wanted to fill that position. Even though I was partially joking, I wanted to be a part of this. So, I got the position. They preferred a teacher with a degree and who was certified. I was not that teacher. They gave me the position without so much as a second interview! It was God. Then I found out I had to come up with the money for a plane ticket, and they would reimburse me once I got there. How was I gonna come up with at least $1200? Just the other day someone told me not to worry about it, it was taken care of! What?! It was God. I also need to send a bunch of stuff to South Korea and that's gonna cost a lot of money. A friend gave me some money specifically for that reason. It was God. I also wanted to get some vaccines before I went to South Korea. Although unnecessary, they were recommended and I wanted to be protected. Another friend gave me some money for that! It was God. My parents don't need any extra money, but my mom had wanted some money to take me shopping for some clothes and to send me to South Korea with some spending money until I got paid the first time. At about the time she made this request known to God her friend offered a part time job in her shop downtown. So, now she has the extra money she wanted to use to help me. It was God. Things are coming together. And let me be the first to say that I don't deserve any of this! God is providing things for me that I could never have gotten myself. This is the beginning of a major adventure in my life. More than that, this is the continuation of God building up my faith in the most amazing way!

PRAISE THE LORD

The Proud Parents

Brothers

Johany

Josiah

Getting....

Ok. So I realize that I am starting to get older. Let me reiterate for those of you who may not understand. I am barely beginning to start the process of getting older. I am taking the first step in a really really really loooonnnngggg journey. Anyhoo, now that this is clear let me explain how I know this. I can be dead tired, but if I wait until after 11 pm to try to go to sleep I am wide awake. It takes probably an hour for me to go to sleep. I also seem to be waking up during the middle of the night as well. I don't know if this has anything to do with not going to sleep before 11 or not, but it still stinks none the less. How do I know that this means that I am getting old? Well you see a long long time ago a very wise OLD person told me that this was happening to him. It was much worse for him though as he would stay up almost all night. That means he was very advanced in his years and had already been on this long journey. Am I worried about growing old? No. This means I am that much closer to seeing Jesus! I'm hoping that when I am able to start exercising again this problem will disappear. Not seeing Jesus, because that's not a problem; and not growing old because well there is just no way to stop that. No. I'm talking about the sleeping problem. I just wanted to explain that for all the older people who may be reading this blog. :)

Today I am mourning. A great and close friend has passed away. Alas I will always miss my first Ipod Nano. Yes, that's right folks my Ipod is taking the longest sleep it will ever take. No longer will I be able to listen to whatever I want at the touch of a wheel. I think this is a test from God. I pray I have the strength to pass it. I will be getting about 400 back in income tax. I could use it for a new nano, or I could pay towards the 1300 I owe Utep. I opt for the latter option. Also one of my credit cards just raised my limit 200. I could use that for a new nano, or I could leave it alone and pay my balance down. Again I opt for the latter option b/c opting for the first option is not a good option to go with. I pray I God gives me the strength to be a good steward with what He has given me. I'll probably just make c.d.s of the stuff I listen to most or make my brother give me his Ipod mini since he doesn't use it. Eventually I would like to get a phone that has mp3 capabilities. We will see what we will see.

AAAWWWWW..

MY BABY!!!

WHAT'S IN THERE?

LOOK AT ME! I'M ALMOST WALKING

I'M A HAPPY BABY

Absolute Must Read For Everybody

Elsa's Book of the Month Club-October 2

Elsa's Book of the Month Club-October

Elsa's Book Month of the Club- September

What's going on in El Paso

John "Danny" Olivas. El Pasoan, UTEP proud grad and NASA Astronaut

Well my television is broken. I hadn't been watching it for a while because I was so busy. Well after being so busy, of course I had what I call a little "rest." Usually what happens is that I run around and around and then sort of breakdown because my body can no longer take it. Well tonight I needed to laundry, work on a group project for school, answer some questions online for the same class, and get started on reading a chapter there would be a quiz on for Tuesday. I guess God said no more and decided to make me get rid of my t.v. Apparently I can't even use my dvd and vcr players with it. So for a while I will have to get my television fix from my family's t.v.s, because I definitely cannot afford to fix mine or get another. I guess that isn't so bad. I heard my class next month will be a monster and there will be a lot of work. Not to mention I have so much christian literature to read, I could catch up on that. Well that's my ho hum life, not that many people notice.

Life

Before I mourned I celebrated, and I still do.

WELCOME ELI DEAN NORMAN!!!!!!!
(my adopted nephew :)

Death, Candice Craig Chavira

Candice,

You cannot hear me right now. You are sleeping. One day you will awake, but I'm not sure you will like what you see. I don't know that I will ever see you again, but I will remember you. I promise to remember your babies. I promise to pray for Joshua, Gabriella and Adriana. They will miss their mama. Your family will miss their daughter and sister. We will miss the positive energetic person we were all so happy to work with. It's not fair that you are gone, but you are. No matter what happened I know your husband will miss you. I pray the truth will come out about your husband whether bad or good. I pray people will have the courage to stand up and speak out. I hope that they will be able to put aside their own personal discomfort and remember the woman who stood tall. I'm scared of what will come out, to know that there are people out there who are capable of such horrible ugly things. I knew this already but this is way to close to home. I don't know if their is hope for your soul, but I promise to do what I can to keep hope alive for your family, especially your babies.....


elsa

Decisions

I sometimes wish I were living back in the 40's and 50's when being a woman wasn't exactly all that hard. You got married and had children and your husband took care of and protected you. It seems a more simple easy life. However, I know that I was put here in this time for a reason. I have such a strong desire in my heart to do missionary work and this may not have been as easily accessible as it is now. I say this knowing that I haven't done what is needed to jumstart this process, whatever that may be. I feel like I'm waiting for something. Around April 1st we had a woman come in and sort of reinact the life of Corrie Ten Boom from her book. Because of her father she learned to have such a love for the Jewish people. I want to know such passion. A few Sundays ago the Cox family came to Calvary. They would be leaving May 17th to Africa to live with their children. They would be working with TWR a radio ministry there in Africa. This spoke to my heart so much. I wish to do this. I want to go to Africa, India, to all kinds of places. To be quite honest when I think of my future I see myself doing these things. As much as I want a child and a husband I can't imagine myself doing those things. I can't see myself teaching in a regular classroom. I think part of that is because I have allowed myself to be partly "deromanticized" by the circumstances in my life. I know when it comes time for me to do my thing, God will show me what to do. I just wish I could turn on the life changing burning passion for God right now. I hate the apathy that has invaded and infected my life. However, no matter what I won't be leaving God and He won't be leaving me.

*(&(*^&*&^

What's the point of all this!?