Blessings

This blog is kind of out of order, I suppose.  This last Labor Day we had the day off and my roommate and I went on an adventure of sorts.  I should write about that, but today's events are too good not to share.  Warning: This blog is rambling and wordy and super long.  You've been warned.

Blessings

Blessings come in many forms.  Blessings are the best when they are unexpected.  Blessings are the best when they humble you. 

Upon returning to my house a few moments ago, I found our sinks fixed.  Why did our sinks need fixing?  Well, let me tell you.  In our kitchen, our sink requires extra help.  Or I guess I should say our faucet requires extra help.  It has one of those hoses so that you can pull the faucet out and extend it.  I'm not sure what that is called as it has been a long day and my brain is fried.  So if you know what it is called, well then that's great.  Moving on.  The hose on that sink tended to leak requiring us to place bowls under the hose to catch the leaking water otherwise we would have a pool in the cabinet under the sink and on the floor. I guess it would keep the floor clean?  Well today a wonderful man came and fixed the faucet so it does not leak!  Blessing!  Am I thankful for the leaky faucet as well?  Sure. I don't know how yet, but I am. 

After this awesome kitchen sink discovery, I proceeded to go to the bathroom for, well for reasons. 

The bathroom sink was an interesting problem.  Somehow the drain had fallen out.  So all we had was a hole in the sink where the drain would be.  The water would just fall out from the sink onto the floor.  Now this particular bathroom is a combination shower/bathroom which means there is no separate shower stall.  The bathroom is the shower stall.  This being true, there is a drain in the floor so at least the water would go into the drain.  But you still ran the chance of your feet and socks getting wet.  Well guess what!  Yep, you guessed it!  The wonderful man repaired the drain so that it is now connected to the sink and doing its job! woohoo!!!

If that was the end of this blog, it would be worth it for me.  I think you could agree those are some pretty awesome blessings.  But like I said blessings can come in many forms and are best when they humble you.  Does the blessings of two fixed sinks humble me? I guess they could, but I wouldn't really  know how.  

No, the blessing that humbled me came right before I discovered the two fixed sinks. 

Now before I continue, let me start off by saying that today was a rough day.  If you knew what I did this weekend (and you will soon), you would expect that I would be very tired.  And I was! And I am!  So I was already really tired.  Then, today was my second full day of teaching.  So I was super duper tired and not in the best mood.  Poor kids. I did hold back my crankiness somewhat for them, so it wasn't too bad. 

After school I have been working with a student who needs a lot of help.  This student has a mother who is a helicopter mother.  In case you are unclear as to what that is, let me explain.  She comes in the middle of class to give him stuff.  She comes 10 minutes before school is over and stands in the doorway.  She is often hanging out at the school.  She is around A LOT.  Needless to say, or maybe it is needed, I have been a bit annoyed by this parent as well as others that are similar to her.  I knew I shouldn't be, because that not is exactly showing the love of Christ, but I'm selfish.  

Let's just be honest.  I'm working here as a missionary, but I am a human being.  That isn't an excuse for my actions and my sin, but it is an explanation.  It means that I have a lot to work on, and God is working on me.   I am so very thankful that God is working on me and hasn't given up on me!! Today's blessing was evidence of the fact that He is doing something. 

Anyhow, back to the action.  This student's mom came and talked to me after I was done with her child.  She started talking about future plans for her child, and I asked her about her husband.  I knew that he wasn't in the picture, but she kind of avoided the subject.  She came back to it and let me know about him.  How he cheated on her at least 5 times and got at least 5 women pregnant.  How he would say various women were just friends but then spend the weekend with them.  How he up and left them here in Korea and went to Alaska.  How he did so much more than that.  

I was tearing up while she was talking, but trying not to lose it in front of her.  I wanted to burst into tears while she was talking, after we were done, and even now. 

She told me how she is a single mom.  She told me how stressed she is about her child being so far behind academically.  She told me how they were going to move back to the States with her oldest son, but there were places she didn't want to go because there were too many bad memories.  She told me how hard life is at 50 something years old.  She told me she believed in God, but I could see that for her hope was running out.  

Ultimately, she kept and keeps a smile on her face.  We finished talking when a friend of hers came to get her.   

How is this a blessing?  I was honored that she would share this part of her life with me.  I am convicted about the way I have been treating or even thinking about a lot of my students' parents, but I already feel my heart softened towards them.  I am humbled by what she shared with me.  I am humbled by the circumstances of her life.  

Single mothers really do have it hard.  They are everything to their children.  Caregiver, cook, protector, provider, leader, adviser and so much more.  With two parents, I'm sure it can still be tough, but with one there is no one to share the load.  No one to fall back on.   In this case the father isn't even in the picture. So everything absolutely falls on her. 

Is it wrong to say that I am blessed by someone else's suffering?  Really, that isn't want I'm saying at all.  I want to take her suffering away, and I would if I could.  What I am blessed by is the fact that she shared all this with me and the effect it had on me.  Now, don't worry.  I realize this isn't all about me.  I'm just sharing what I know from my point of view.  

I wish I could write here that I prayed for her and shared a verse.  I waited for her to pause for me to be able to say that I would pray for her then, but her friend came in before that happened.  Then I felt it was too late.  However, I will be and am praying for and her child.  Also, I am committed to helping her child as much as I possibly can. I am also renewed in my dedication to teaching my students the best that I can.  May these actions bless the people who receive them and may they glorify the Lord. 

Firsts

First of all, it is interesting to me that I had to go back and check what my last blog post was about so that I didn't repeat anything.  I'm still really not entirely sure of all that I wrote, so I will have to check again and again.  Old age is getting to me.

This week was our first week of school, and it began with our first day of school.  The first day was a half day, so it was nice.  It's always interesting how I plan so much, but then it doesn't seem like enough.  The kids were all quiet and on their best behavior.  I teach two grades: 3rd and 4th.  The fourth graders are with me again this year after having been in my class last year for 3rd grade, and I have two repeaters.  Most of the third grade knows me, but they have never been in my class.  Basically 4th grade is used to me and several of them have already gotten their names on the board.  3rd grade is not used to me, so their behavior is on point for now.

Break time

 

 Group Work

Playing on the playground after school

The cutest little 2nd graders

 4th Grade

3rd Grade

Kids in the lunch room waiting to start on the first day of school

Kids in the lunch room waiting to start on the first day of school

This year I have quite a few kids whose parents tell them specifically not to listen to things about Jesus or that Jesus is not real.  I've always wanted to tell them about Jesus and try to communicate Him as clearly as possible, but now it seems even more important as they are in my class.  Please pray for me as I pray for them and teach them.   I pray I remember that the gospel speaks for itself and there is nothing I can add to it.  I don't want to cheapen it by making it fun or watering it down.  I want seeds to be planted; I want these kids to follow Christ with all of their hearts.
And so today I was convicted as I have not been keeping in regular prayer.  I can read the Bible all day long, I can talk about Christ all day long, but it is God who does the work.  Prayer is what I need for discernment, wisdom, God's Holy Spirit to work, energy, strength and so much more!!

This week has been good but super busy.  Trying to get over jet lag and now being active when for the last 3 months I was pretty sedentary has been very interesting.  Also, I've been trying to show my roommate around and help her with stuff.  She is such a blessing!  She is very sweet and adventurous.  It will be awesome to get to know her more.  Yesterday, Saturday, we decided to get some cleaning done and ended up throwing away so much stuff!! It was great! But much energy was expended.  Tomorrow, our plan is to go to Seoul and see some sights.  It should be fun.

Cleaning

We started back to school, well almost.  We teachers came back and did some cleaning of the outside of the school.  Monsoon season has hit Korea kind of hard, and the plants are growing like weeds! Does that even make sense?  It's definitely a jungle out there.  So on our first day back, we worked outside sweeping, cutting back weeds and picking up dead branches that had fallen from the trees due to high winds and rain.
It was a great workout especially after not doing much of any physical activity all summer.  It certainly helped me to sleep that night!

The rest of that day and the following day I spent cleaning up and kind of reorganizing my classroom.  It wasn't easy.  I have accumulated so much junk over the past 5 years.  I filled up more than half of a huge garbage bag with trash.  Sometimes, being over here, I want to say that I need to keep things because you never know when you will need it.  But in the end, if I haven't used it in 5 years, it's not going to happen.  Purging is a pretty good thing.  I didn't finish doing all that I'd wanted to just because of time and jet lag, but there is plenty of time in the school year ahead to throw more stuff away!
This summer I was so busy, there wasn't any time to miss being away from the classroom.  So at first I wasn't really excited about being back.  I wasn't upset about it either, but I don't have those returning to school excited feelings.  Little by little, though, I'm starting to feel it.  It's going to be good :)

Journey

Well I've started off again, back to Korea.  I love going back to El Paso, but it gets harder and harder to make that long journey.  I am blessed by having the opportunity to have modern technology that allows me to go from one side of the world to the other.  But as I get older, I grow weary of spending so much time on an airplane and in the airport.  Ultimately it does serve a purpose, but I feel like it is such wasted time.
But. I feel like maybe this post should be called but.
Anyhow, my trip was pretty uneventful.  I actually slept on the plane here and there, a couple of hours at a time.  It was good.
As soon as I got off the plane and into the airport, I headed straight to customs and got on the airport's free wifi.  I immediately got some really good news I had been waiting for!  It was awesome and I was praising the Lord, but man how quickly our attitudes can sour.
I started to get into a complaining type of mood. Being super tired and dealing with long lines, long waits, things not going the way I expected, and Korean culture, I started to get into a bad mood.
But (there's that but again) the Lord gently reminded me that I didn't need to be in a bad mood.  I didn't need to complain.  I didn't need to focus on all the things that weren't going my way.  I certainly wanted to, but I didn't need to.  So I had some practice taking every thought captive and doing everything without grumbling.   It was so easy for me to forget that God is good, that He is faithful, and that He loves me.  I had just received some really awesome news, and my attitude quickly turned sour like that never happened.  I really do believe we can control our reactions to what happens to us.  Being mindful, prayerful, and thankful can really humble you.
Honestly, a lot of the things that were happening to me just couldn't be helped.  Getting upset about them helped no one, especially myself.

Lots of cleaning before the trip

Before

After

Beautiful El Paso sunrise to send me off.

Years

I literally have not posted anything on here in about 2 1/2 years.  That's a long time.  I'm not good at being disciplined about updating stuff regularly, but I'm going to try something new to keep people updated.
For some reason when I am directly face to face with someone, it's hard for me to speak about the things that happen here in Korea.  It's not like I am going through traumatic stuff here; I'm just not the type of person who likes to talk about myself very much.  Now, there are those moments where I have diarrhea of the mouth and everything comes tumbling out.  But that doesn't happen too often.
So in order to keep people up to date and remember for myself the things that happen, I'll possibly be posting a little more frequently.  But what is a little more frequently when you haven't posted in a couple of years?  Well that has yet to be determined.
What I want to do is type a little at a time as things happen.  Then, when I feel that there is a sufficient amount of information, I will publish it all.  We will see if that works. Like I said, I am not good at keeping these things up.
So here's to new beginnings in blogging and so much more.

Almost half of a Whole30

Disclaimer: I feel like this post is all over the place and I am doing too many thing right now to even edit it correctly.  So just enjoy it knowing that this is how my brain works ;)

Today is day 12 of my participation in the Whole30 Program. As I write this I am making a roast in the slow cooker (which I've never done before!), and I just finished making some roast squash in the oven (which I've never done before!).  I also have to say that coconut milk, which should be used in moderation, is good!
 I can easily say that 85% of me loves the Whole30 while the other 15%, well, doesn't.  I'm not suffering or pining away for simple carbs and sugar, but I miss being able to have those things sometimes.  I do have to say with time I have been less and less inclined to even desire anything not on the Whole30 approved list.

So for now I am ok and doing well.  Besides food cravings, or the lack thereof, I have seen other benefits and drawbacks of doing this program.  

Some of the drawbacks include spending more money than I would like to.  It is expensive to maintain this kind of diet/lifestyle, but some would say spending the money now beats having to spend lots of money in later years battling health problems.  To them I would say, "True."  Others would argue, and they have, that it is unfair for us to participate in something like this when so many around the world could not afford it, thus eating the way that they do.  While that is true, should that stop me from eating like this?  I don't know. 

Another drawback is just the amount of time it takes to prepare everything.  But I must say that this is also a plus, because I really enjoy cooking!  Perhaps it is a drawback for my roommate, especially on the nights she has to do the dishes.  Oops!

Of course one of the major drawbacks is not being able to socialize over food.  I feel like in Korea, at least in my little world, eating and visiting over a meal is a big deal.  However, I have found other ways to visit and talk with people.  One way is to talk over a cup of coffee or tea.  When it gets warmer I may invite people to go for a walk.  I've gone to the grocery store with a friend and we talked while shopping.  I am also going to try something crazy and just talk to someone without doing anything else! Crazy, right?!

Now, I think that is all the drawbacks I can think of right now.  So, on to the benefits!

One of the greatest benefits is that for half the time I've been doing this I have had way more energy and been way more focused.  Now some people may think, "Half the time, what?"  The beginning of this program means cutting out all the sugar and processed food your body loves. Well, most bodies don't like it when you take away the things they are addicted to.  Mine didn't like it and I got tired sometimes.  There was also adjusting to time change, coming to Korea and all, and adjusting to teaching again.  But now, I've caught up and I feel pretty good.

Another added benefit is that I can see and feel myself losing weight. I haven't stepped on the scale because they advise against that and because I don't want to make this just about losing weight. I want it to be about killing addictions, respecting food and learning self-control.  

I'm also enjoying the fact that I am stepping out of my comfort zone and cooking so many things that I would have never done before.  

Before this post gets too long, I will end it but not before posting some pics for Luana : ) and adding one more thing. 

I have to say that this came about from a prompting from God.  He has been telling me for some time that I need to let go of the sugar idol.  I have an addiction to carbs and sugar and He is helping to let go of it.  It is only through the power and guidance of the Holy Spirit that I have because of Jesus Christ that I can do any of this.  I don't mean to post this at the end as a sidenote. It is very important to make that known.  Because I have never been able to do anything like this.  I always fail.  I am only successful here because I yield to Him.  Do I always succeed? No, because I don't always yield.  But that just reveals to me that I still need my Savior, Jesus Christ.

Ok. Here are some pics of food in case you're interested, or whether you are interested or not.

The middle shelf is mine, all mine!

This one is so small because it is just a snack :)

This is me.

So, it's been a while.  I suppose I have had plenty of "blogworthy" moments to write about, but I haven't had time, or at least I haven't made time.  Today, I am making time.

Basically I want to make public (as many people that read this anyway)  the fact that I am on a journey.  For a long time the Lord has been talking to me about my weight, but more specifically about how I put food before Him and that makes me overweight and unhealthy.  My crutch for when I am sick, sad, mad, bored, stressed, etc., is food.  My reward for when I am happy and whatever other positive emotions you can have is food.  But I'm not reaching for lettuce and broccoli.  Oh no.  I am reaching for ice cream (personal fave), donuts, cookies, candies, bread, rice, and so on and so forth.  And let me tell you that my arm reached far and reached again and again.

So that brings us to today.  What is the journey I have decided to go on?  Well, I'll tell you.

It's called Whole30.

The basics:
-No sugar.
-No grains: flour, rice, etc.
-No alcohol.
-No beans or legumes.
-Lots of vegetables.
-Some fruit.
-Lean protein (meats).
-Good fat like avocado, olive oil, almonds, etc.

This is more than your general low carb or paleo diet.  On their website (wholelife9.com) they talk a lot about dealing with your relationships with food.  One thing they address, which I totally recognize, is what they call a "sugar tantrum."  Your brain wants sugar because your body is going through something in which you would normally give it sugar and so it has a tantrum.  They address this by advising to give it a good fat instead, teaching the body to burn fat instead of empty carbs and sugar (at least that's what I conclude).

There was something else where this woman had said that she replaced her ice cream with frozen bananas and almond butter.  Sounds perfectly ok because these are both allowed on the Whole30.  However, they (being the creators who are Dallas and Melissa Hartwig) were totally against this with good reason.  This woman was still satiating the brains sugar craving/tantrum instead of teaching it new ways. She had replaced "junky" sugar with "good" sugar.  There is nothing wrong with the sugar in fruit, and they encourage eating fruit, but she was still giving into the tantrum one way or another.  This is something I have to be aware of because I have already been tempted to do the same thing.

All in all this is about reconditioning my body as far as its behavior towards food.  I will just say it.  Food is my idol.  Sugar is my idol.  God says I'm not supposed to have those.  I don't want to have them.  I don't want to be a slave to them anymore and the Whole30 is gonna help me do it.

Well this post became longer then I intended. So I will wrap it up by saying that in a few days I will write another post talking about the previous 6 or 7 days including what I ate, how I felt, etc.

 Please please please pray for me.  This isn't about losing weight.  It's about placing God above all else.

Thank you! If there is anything I can pray for you, please let me know!  It will help me through those sugar tantrums ;)

Privileged

Last year I put together a CD of some pictures and videos from the year to share with the kids.  I wanted to make that a lasting tradition as long as I'm at ACA.  Tonight I've been spending time organizing pictures for this year's CD for the kids.

I was browsing through Facebook trying to see which pictures I could "borrow."    I stumbled upon a picture taken in the Philippines during the 2011 mission trip.  To most it wouldn't be considered a spectacular picture, but to me it was amazing.  It brought back memories and such emotion that all I could was stop and stare at it.

Then it occurred to me that the Lord has blessed me immensely.  I mean, He's always blessed me, but this year I supposed it's kind of different.  I am thinking of all the ministry opportunities He's allowed me to be a part of.

I originally came to South Korea just to be the 4th grade teacher at ACA.  But I quickly found out that teaching 4th grade would not be the only thing I did.  I became involved in teaching the Middle School and High School girls' Bible study alongside some other teachers.  That was such a challenge and still is, but it is a huge blessing.   What has been truly amazing is watching the girls grow in their relationships with the Lord.  The fact that He would allow me to not only see that, but that He would allow me to be a part of that just blows me away.

Then in 2011, I went on my first ever short term missions trip.  I was ridiculously blown away by everything I experienced in the Philippines and the amount of preparation that went into the trip.  Not only did I learn so much, I was ready to drop everything and move to the Philippines to become a full time missionary!  Then in 2012, we returned again, and I realized that while I loved it there God's place for me was in South Korea.

Also in 2011, my principal, who had a Korean church, started an English service as well.  He asked us to be a part of serving there.  How could I not?  It has been a blessing to serve in different ways there.

But one thing he really wanted was for our church to be a part of a lot of outreach and missions (which I love!!  :).  First, we started going to a local orphanage which is amazing.  It does make me realize the need for me to learn Korean, though.  Playing with the kids is one thing, but a stronger bond can be better formed through language.

Then we started a ministry where we go out to the local clubs and bars to reach out to the girls who work there.  That has changed my life. This is not something I would ever ever do on my own.  God has placed these girls in my heart, and I love to serve them.

Relatively recently, we became aware of our own "red light" street here in Dongducheon.  We so want to reach out to those girls and rescue them from the yoke of slavery that hangs around their neck.  While they may be there voluntarily (or not, we are not sure of their circumstances), they are still in slavery to sin.  We want them to know that this is not the only way and YHWH loves them and has hope to offer them and wants to break their chains.  Now unlike the clubs, we can't just walk into this area, but being able to pray for them has been such a privilege and I feel like God has put such a burden on my heart for them, a HEAVY burden.

There are a million bazillion other things going on. To be honest it is easy to get bogged down without depending on the strength of Jesus.  But He sustains me and I'm still here.  I'm astounded that He chooses to use me.

²⁶ Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. ²⁷ But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. ²⁸ God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, ²⁹ so that no one may boast before him. ³⁰ It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. ³¹ Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.”   


1 Corinthians 1


Anything I'm doing right now and anything I have right now is because He's doing it and because He's given it to me.  I have to be reminded of that constantly.  I start to rely on myself and the things of this world rather than the creator and the giver of all good things.  Praise God  that He is allowing me to be a part of the work He is doing in South Korea.