Almost half of a Whole30

Disclaimer: I feel like this post is all over the place and I am doing too many thing right now to even edit it correctly.  So just enjoy it knowing that this is how my brain works ;)

Today is day 12 of my participation in the Whole30 Program. As I write this I am making a roast in the slow cooker (which I've never done before!), and I just finished making some roast squash in the oven (which I've never done before!).  I also have to say that coconut milk, which should be used in moderation, is good!
 I can easily say that 85% of me loves the Whole30 while the other 15%, well, doesn't.  I'm not suffering or pining away for simple carbs and sugar, but I miss being able to have those things sometimes.  I do have to say with time I have been less and less inclined to even desire anything not on the Whole30 approved list.

So for now I am ok and doing well.  Besides food cravings, or the lack thereof, I have seen other benefits and drawbacks of doing this program.  

Some of the drawbacks include spending more money than I would like to.  It is expensive to maintain this kind of diet/lifestyle, but some would say spending the money now beats having to spend lots of money in later years battling health problems.  To them I would say, "True."  Others would argue, and they have, that it is unfair for us to participate in something like this when so many around the world could not afford it, thus eating the way that they do.  While that is true, should that stop me from eating like this?  I don't know. 

Another drawback is just the amount of time it takes to prepare everything.  But I must say that this is also a plus, because I really enjoy cooking!  Perhaps it is a drawback for my roommate, especially on the nights she has to do the dishes.  Oops!

Of course one of the major drawbacks is not being able to socialize over food.  I feel like in Korea, at least in my little world, eating and visiting over a meal is a big deal.  However, I have found other ways to visit and talk with people.  One way is to talk over a cup of coffee or tea.  When it gets warmer I may invite people to go for a walk.  I've gone to the grocery store with a friend and we talked while shopping.  I am also going to try something crazy and just talk to someone without doing anything else! Crazy, right?!

Now, I think that is all the drawbacks I can think of right now.  So, on to the benefits!

One of the greatest benefits is that for half the time I've been doing this I have had way more energy and been way more focused.  Now some people may think, "Half the time, what?"  The beginning of this program means cutting out all the sugar and processed food your body loves. Well, most bodies don't like it when you take away the things they are addicted to.  Mine didn't like it and I got tired sometimes.  There was also adjusting to time change, coming to Korea and all, and adjusting to teaching again.  But now, I've caught up and I feel pretty good.

Another added benefit is that I can see and feel myself losing weight. I haven't stepped on the scale because they advise against that and because I don't want to make this just about losing weight. I want it to be about killing addictions, respecting food and learning self-control.  

I'm also enjoying the fact that I am stepping out of my comfort zone and cooking so many things that I would have never done before.  

Before this post gets too long, I will end it but not before posting some pics for Luana : ) and adding one more thing. 

I have to say that this came about from a prompting from God.  He has been telling me for some time that I need to let go of the sugar idol.  I have an addiction to carbs and sugar and He is helping to let go of it.  It is only through the power and guidance of the Holy Spirit that I have because of Jesus Christ that I can do any of this.  I don't mean to post this at the end as a sidenote. It is very important to make that known.  Because I have never been able to do anything like this.  I always fail.  I am only successful here because I yield to Him.  Do I always succeed? No, because I don't always yield.  But that just reveals to me that I still need my Savior, Jesus Christ.

Ok. Here are some pics of food in case you're interested, or whether you are interested or not.

The middle shelf is mine, all mine!

This one is so small because it is just a snack :)

This is me.

So, it's been a while.  I suppose I have had plenty of "blogworthy" moments to write about, but I haven't had time, or at least I haven't made time.  Today, I am making time.

Basically I want to make public (as many people that read this anyway)  the fact that I am on a journey.  For a long time the Lord has been talking to me about my weight, but more specifically about how I put food before Him and that makes me overweight and unhealthy.  My crutch for when I am sick, sad, mad, bored, stressed, etc., is food.  My reward for when I am happy and whatever other positive emotions you can have is food.  But I'm not reaching for lettuce and broccoli.  Oh no.  I am reaching for ice cream (personal fave), donuts, cookies, candies, bread, rice, and so on and so forth.  And let me tell you that my arm reached far and reached again and again.

So that brings us to today.  What is the journey I have decided to go on?  Well, I'll tell you.

It's called Whole30.

The basics:
-No sugar.
-No grains: flour, rice, etc.
-No alcohol.
-No beans or legumes.
-Lots of vegetables.
-Some fruit.
-Lean protein (meats).
-Good fat like avocado, olive oil, almonds, etc.

This is more than your general low carb or paleo diet.  On their website (wholelife9.com) they talk a lot about dealing with your relationships with food.  One thing they address, which I totally recognize, is what they call a "sugar tantrum."  Your brain wants sugar because your body is going through something in which you would normally give it sugar and so it has a tantrum.  They address this by advising to give it a good fat instead, teaching the body to burn fat instead of empty carbs and sugar (at least that's what I conclude).

There was something else where this woman had said that she replaced her ice cream with frozen bananas and almond butter.  Sounds perfectly ok because these are both allowed on the Whole30.  However, they (being the creators who are Dallas and Melissa Hartwig) were totally against this with good reason.  This woman was still satiating the brains sugar craving/tantrum instead of teaching it new ways. She had replaced "junky" sugar with "good" sugar.  There is nothing wrong with the sugar in fruit, and they encourage eating fruit, but she was still giving into the tantrum one way or another.  This is something I have to be aware of because I have already been tempted to do the same thing.

All in all this is about reconditioning my body as far as its behavior towards food.  I will just say it.  Food is my idol.  Sugar is my idol.  God says I'm not supposed to have those.  I don't want to have them.  I don't want to be a slave to them anymore and the Whole30 is gonna help me do it.

Well this post became longer then I intended. So I will wrap it up by saying that in a few days I will write another post talking about the previous 6 or 7 days including what I ate, how I felt, etc.

 Please please please pray for me.  This isn't about losing weight.  It's about placing God above all else.

Thank you! If there is anything I can pray for you, please let me know!  It will help me through those sugar tantrums ;)

Privileged

Last year I put together a CD of some pictures and videos from the year to share with the kids.  I wanted to make that a lasting tradition as long as I'm at ACA.  Tonight I've been spending time organizing pictures for this year's CD for the kids.

I was browsing through Facebook trying to see which pictures I could "borrow."    I stumbled upon a picture taken in the Philippines during the 2011 mission trip.  To most it wouldn't be considered a spectacular picture, but to me it was amazing.  It brought back memories and such emotion that all I could was stop and stare at it.

Then it occurred to me that the Lord has blessed me immensely.  I mean, He's always blessed me, but this year I supposed it's kind of different.  I am thinking of all the ministry opportunities He's allowed me to be a part of.

I originally came to South Korea just to be the 4th grade teacher at ACA.  But I quickly found out that teaching 4th grade would not be the only thing I did.  I became involved in teaching the Middle School and High School girls' Bible study alongside some other teachers.  That was such a challenge and still is, but it is a huge blessing.   What has been truly amazing is watching the girls grow in their relationships with the Lord.  The fact that He would allow me to not only see that, but that He would allow me to be a part of that just blows me away.

Then in 2011, I went on my first ever short term missions trip.  I was ridiculously blown away by everything I experienced in the Philippines and the amount of preparation that went into the trip.  Not only did I learn so much, I was ready to drop everything and move to the Philippines to become a full time missionary!  Then in 2012, we returned again, and I realized that while I loved it there God's place for me was in South Korea.

Also in 2011, my principal, who had a Korean church, started an English service as well.  He asked us to be a part of serving there.  How could I not?  It has been a blessing to serve in different ways there.

But one thing he really wanted was for our church to be a part of a lot of outreach and missions (which I love!!  :).  First, we started going to a local orphanage which is amazing.  It does make me realize the need for me to learn Korean, though.  Playing with the kids is one thing, but a stronger bond can be better formed through language.

Then we started a ministry where we go out to the local clubs and bars to reach out to the girls who work there.  That has changed my life. This is not something I would ever ever do on my own.  God has placed these girls in my heart, and I love to serve them.

Relatively recently, we became aware of our own "red light" street here in Dongducheon.  We so want to reach out to those girls and rescue them from the yoke of slavery that hangs around their neck.  While they may be there voluntarily (or not, we are not sure of their circumstances), they are still in slavery to sin.  We want them to know that this is not the only way and YHWH loves them and has hope to offer them and wants to break their chains.  Now unlike the clubs, we can't just walk into this area, but being able to pray for them has been such a privilege and I feel like God has put such a burden on my heart for them, a HEAVY burden.

There are a million bazillion other things going on. To be honest it is easy to get bogged down without depending on the strength of Jesus.  But He sustains me and I'm still here.  I'm astounded that He chooses to use me.

²⁶ Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. ²⁷ But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. ²⁸ God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, ²⁹ so that no one may boast before him. ³⁰ It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. ³¹ Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.”   


1 Corinthians 1


Anything I'm doing right now and anything I have right now is because He's doing it and because He's given it to me.  I have to be reminded of that constantly.  I start to rely on myself and the things of this world rather than the creator and the giver of all good things.  Praise God  that He is allowing me to be a part of the work He is doing in South Korea.

Jericho

So, I haven't posted here in a while. At first this seemed to be an easy way to keep everyone updated on what was going on in my life, but I don't think many people read my posts. I really don't care how many people read my posts; it's not about how many people read my posts. (Ok. So I care a little bit. I am human after all. Gotta feed that ego something) I suppose it was supposed to just be about an "easy" way to tell a lot of people at the same time about the things going on in my life.

 But then...

 Then it became a burden. I felt overwhelmed with sharing here. I thought it was just because of all the things I have to do. Well, let's not count that out completely. The truth is that I am busier here than I have ever been anywhere in my entire life.

But as I sit and contemplate it, I realize the root of the matter is that it is hard for me to be real. I still have this wall up. I've had it up for a long time. For about 10+ years now. Now to some people that may not be a long time, but that's a third of my life. You may ask, "What does this wall have to do with you posting a blog or not?"

Go ahead. Ask.

 Well, let me tell you. Writing and/or speaking becomes a burden when you don't want to share everything about yourself with others. Writing/Speaking become burdens when you don't want to let people in and you don't want them to know certain things. Let's get another thing straight here and now. There is nothing I feel like I have to hide, but I just have problems with letting everything out. I am definitely not an open book. 

Now I certainly don't believe that we have to let everyone know everything all of the time. But I do believe that there are many times when God calls us to be open, vulnerable. Am I afraid of what people might say and might think? Sure. That goes back to being hurt a long time ago. I'll gladly tell you about it, if you ask. For now, however, let's just say I trusted someone with extremely sensitive and private information about myself, only to later find out that everyone heard all about it.

 So, I now have issues. I know I have to forgive and forget and all that other stuff, but it ain't easy. But what I do know, for sure, is that God is faithful. He has been faithfully chipping away at that wall for a long long time. He won't stop until it is low enough for people to step over and come on in. He tells me I have to be open to reach the people that are a part of the various ministries I'm involved in. So what does He do? He makes me live with 2 people who seem to have no walls at all. Maybe they do have walls, I don't know. But as far as I can see they love me unconditionally, and they let me in. Now, they may not do that with everyone. It may be because we are in a special situation in which we live, work, and worship together. But I've learned so much from them both and God has used them to continue to tear down the wall and soften my heart. He's also used them as wonderful examples on how to be open to other people.

 I have no scripture for you now. I only know that I want to be open and so I ask that you pray for me on this.

 If I seem cold or distant, or if you haven't heard from me in a while, please forgive me. It's not that I don't care. It's that I am working things out and I am extremely, extremely, did I mention extremely busy?

 p.s. don't tell my kids how many sentences I started with the word "but", and don't tell them I used the word "ain't" and don't tell them about punctuation or grammatical errors. thank you.

Help Randy Ponzio's Family

Help Randy Ponzio's Family

What does a year look like?

Ok, so technically it should be "what does 9 months look like?" but here goes anyway.

A year looks like
new relationships
new experiences
new tastes
new smells
new sights

A year looks like
long hours working
long hours traveling
long hours talking
long hours walking.

A year looks like
happiness
joy
sadness
love
pain

A year looks like
learning
growth
weakness
strength, not my own.

A year looks like
tears
laughter
sickness
health

A year looks like
something I'll miss and love all at the same time. I've learned a lot this year about myself and about God. I've also learned that I have a lot more learning to do. This life is a journey and I hope to live the best of it for God. I hope to be Ezra:

For Ezra had prepared his heart to seek the Law of the LORD, and to do it, and to teach statutes and ordinances in Israel.

Ezra 7:10

This is what I plan to do this summer. I want to come back to South Korea, to Dongducheon, to ACA, to Vision International Chapel, to my house, to my Korean family, to my room mates with my heart prepared to seek the Lord, to do His will, and to teach His statutes and ordinances in Korea and anywhere else the Lord might take me... please pray for me as I seek to allow God to work to make me look more like His Son.

Didn't expect this...

I did not think I would be posting a blog so soon after the last one. I don't even know if anyone reads these things, but at least it's a good outlet for me.

Last semester I started to teach my kids about the Armor of God.

Ephesians 6:10-18 (New International Version, ©2010)

The Armor of God

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

I'm using a somewhat simpler version of these verses with the kids. I am also using this website which kind of simplifies it down. I like the graphics or drawings on it. The Armor of God


Anyhow. Because of time we stopped right before the shoes of the Gospel of Peace. We had a month off and when I came back I did some review. Then today we started covering the shoes of the Gospel of Peace. What it meant to me is that we have to go and tell others about Jesus. I suppose it also means that because we have this Good News, we have peace and we can spread it about. But what I emphasized with the kids is that we need to spread the Good News. I had the kids look up Matthew 28:16-20, Isaiah 52:7, and Romans 10:15. This passage and the verses emphasize how we should go out and spread the Good News. After school I logged onto Facebook and I saw this verse posted:

How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, “Your God reigns!” (Isaiah 52:7)
I was pretty touched by that considering that we had just read that this morning.

Then, I saw another verse that really spoke to me. This morning before school I asked God to help me focus on the important stuff and stay off of Facebook. After school I was doing some grading and it was kind of difficult. Not to mention, it had been a long day in general. I was feeling stressed and frustrated. I prayed and asked God for help. I wanted to walk down to the grocery store and buy kimbap, which is rice wrapped in seaweed. This would be bad because I shouldn't spend money and the rice is a lot of carbs I don't need. Anyhow, so I prayed. Then I got on Facebook and saw this verse:

Philippians 3:13-14
13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (NIV)

So then this made me think, "ok. get off of facebook and get back to schoolwork." which I immediately did. So tonight has been a productive night.

On top of teaching my kids about the Armor of God, I started teaching them about 1 Corinthians 13. If you don't know, this chapter is all about love. We had been having some trouble in our class with kids not treating each other well. I started teaching the first verse this week.
Then tonight my room mate, Shin Ae, heard me yell out some strange words. I was looking up songs to have my kids sing tomorrow. I was listening to God is Not a Secret by Newsboys. They sing about how the very rocks will cry out if we do not praise the Name of the Lord. So I got on Biblegateway.com to look up the verse.
I got on and what should I see on their daily verse, but this:

“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.” - 1 Corinthians 13:1-3

I cried out. I almost cried. God is so good. I am always touched when He talks to me. Why should He talk to me? Who am I? I am nothing and unworthy. But He doesn't think so. He loves me so much. He loves my kids so much. He loves you so much.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I hope you will share in my excitement with me and be blessed. <3

Sleeplessness...

Here it is 12:43 am, and I can't sleep. It's probably all the coffee I had today. Oh well, what can I do? Blog, I guess...

A while back, maybe like a week, I looked at my blog and found out that I hadn't actually blogged anything since the end of September. This greatly surprised me, as I had been reassuring myself that I had, in fact, done much more. Once I found out what I had really done, I realized I needed to fix the problem.
So, then I posted a couple of videos... created by other people. These videos do chronicle a little bit of my journey here, but it took no effort on my part to put them on Blogger. So, I'm feeling a bit guilty. Maybe my guilt is keeping me up, but probably not.

So here is an attempt at a "real" blog update.

When I returned back to Korea, I was aware of how much I had missed it. Back in El Paso, I was somewhat disconnected from this place. I felt like my past time in Korea had been part of some alternative universe, or more realistically, part of my way distant past. But it wasn't that at all. What I began to realize, with a little help from my friends, is that I had become so absorbed in my life in El Paso, that I was beginning to lose myself. I was losing my true identity. I was submerging myself into a life that I did not belong in. What's so crazy is that while I was submerging myself into that life, I was at the same time completely bored and frustrated with that life!

Now I don't mean to step on any toes. I love my El Paso family. ALL of you. But here's the thing. The person God has made me to be for this time doesn't know how to fit into the El Paso life without returning to things that are a part of my old nature.
God brought me through a major change. He took things away from me that I had been trying so hard to get rid of myself. This was major, but it only happened as recently as April. I went through this change and dealt with it for a little while in El Paso. One could argue that if I was ok at least for a few months then, why couldn't I be ok for a month now?
From my change in April to my departure in August, I was pretty much consumed with my leaving to Korea. There was the application to ACA, the waiting, the celebration, the planning, and then the packing! Don't even get me started on the packing. Anyhow, after all that was saying goodbye to everyone. I didn't have time to worry about how to deal with the change.
However, when I got back to El Paso in December, I had nothing but time. Now, I am absolutely positive that I could have used that time way more wisely. But I just shut down. First of all, I didn't really want to be in El Paso at that time. Sure, it was great to see everyone, but... well I don't know if I can really explain it. Second, I went from focus and extreme busyness everyday, to not doing a darn thing! I was itching for things to do, but I did some of the wrong things.

So now that I've left my Egypt, and come back to my Israel, my soul is more at peace. Do I still have trouble being consistent in my seeking the Lord and staying focused on my work? Yes. But I desire nothing more than to be here with a purpose, a passion, a focus. I have that. I need to learn how to find that in other places, but having it here, I am complete.
I don't know what will happen once I go back to El Paso in July, but I'm not going to worry about that now. I will take time to pray about it, but for right now I am content with where God has me.

Well, now that all that is out of the way ;)

We came back and got right back into the groove of things. It's amazing how much I missed having Korean food all the time. I love this stuff!
I've also started to work out. Right now I'm doing Tae bo and a workout by The Biggest Loser which kicks my behind! Please pray that I can stay committed to this and be healthy. That is one of my biggest concerns. I know that as I get older, it will get harder and harder to shed the pounds. I really am concerned about this and I no longer want to be a slave to my body. I hope that when I read this again in six months I can say I did it, and I won't be hanging my head in shame!

School started on February 1st. Then we had a five day weekend thanks to Lunar New Year. In a way it was great because we three girls spent some time in Seoul. But on the other hand, I miss the kiddos. Not only that, I was ready to get them back into the routine and the swing of things. Well I guess I'll be able to do that in just a few short hours!

So we went to Seoul. We decided we didn't want to have to spend numerous hours on the subway. This led to us staying at the Koreana Hotel. It was pretty nice. On Friday we explored a bit and had lunch and coffee. We were able to relax. That night we went to Seoul Art Museum and saw an awesome exhibit! The only artist's name that I can remember was Picasso. There were many other talented artists whose work was on display, but I'm not informed enough to remember their names. Sorry!
While I really enjoyed the entire experience, there is one occasion that stands out in my mind more than all the rest. I was looking at Picasso's David and Bathsheba. It's a really interesting painting. But I realized as I was looking at it and searching it and really trying to figure it out, that I had blocked out all the other people around me. Being that Korea just had a national holiday, the place was packed. But I was standing there and I heard nothing and saw nothing. I saw only that painting. Now, no offense to Picasso, but the painting is not that beautiful. However, it got me thinking and that is pretty awesome.


So the next day we went to Seoul tower and walked and walked and walked and walked some more! It was awesome to see the view and to think about how communication took place back then. It was also awesome to look down from the top of that mountain and think about what it would look like before there was a megacity down there.
Then we went to Myeongdong and did a bit of shopping. We got to meet our friend Jay there. Prior to seeing him we climbed a ton of stairs and did a lot of walking. I was looking forward to sitting for a long time! We ended the night with a good dinner and some great company. I think I can confidently say that a good time was had by all. :)

Now it's time to get back to work! :D

I think this blog will hold me for a while, at least until the next big thing happens!

ACA Heart-Look

ACA We belong to Jesus

Family and.... failure?

This week was chuseok here in South Korea. Chuseok is bascially the korean thanksgiving. A little bit of history tells us that when the harvest would come in, or right before, koreans would take a break and visit family. They never had days off except for chuseok and the lunar new year. Many people had moved away from home to find work in the cities. So first chance they got they would make the trip home. This time of year becomes horrendous as far as traffic is concerned because people are still making the mass exodus home. It's also time for people to visit cemeteries. They make offerings to ancestors honoring them, and thanking them for everything they have.

We had school Monday and Friday. Tuesday we were off and we really didn't do anything at all. We just relaxed. Wednesday, the official day of Chuseok, our boss Mr. Kang invited us to have lunch with he and his family. By the end we were sufficiently stuffed and satisfied. We spent the night at school doing a bit of work. Then we settled in for the night, because we had to wake up extremely early.

The next morning we made for the subway station to take a 2 1/2 hour journey. We were headed to Suwon to see my family. I have two uncles and two aunts here in korea. We got there at about 10. We ate lots of good food again! I got to see all my aunts and uncles and some of my cousins. We hung out at the house and then we went to the Korean Folk Park. It's basically a park showcasing how koreans used to live. We hung out with my cousin Younguk and had a blast. It was so much fun! I am so blessed to have been able to spend that time with my family. It was amazing and still continues to touch my heart even now. I've never experienced what it is like to have a big blood related extended family. I never knew I was missing anything, but man was I. I can't wait to go see them again. Who knew that this is where God wanted me to be, to see them.

Well the other side of the coin holds a bit of failure for me. I've also been entrusted with the task of teaching and loving these children. I have to admit this has not been my first priority. God, however, has been working on my heart. He's shown me that by not being organized and ready I'm losing control and my kids aren't learning like they should be. That changes starting Monday morning. It means working hard and like crazy, but it's what I'm here to do and what I need to make as my priority. Don't get me wrong, I have been working and trying. But I have not been working or trying as hard as I could. My first rule for my kids is to try your best, or put forth your best effort. It's my turn to do this and to model it for the kids. Am I up to the task? Maybe, maybe not. Either way I know this:

Commit your works to the LORD
And your plans will be established.
Proverbs 16:3

I know that if I give this to Him and work as hard as I can, He will establish my plans (He will be the one to bring success to my plans but I have to commit myself and what I do to Him). I'm not saying He needs my help or this will happen because of my own effort. But I now realize that He wants me to be a teacher, and I need to learn to throw my whole heart into it. Sure there are times when He just gives us something or blesses us with something or it just comes to us because He puts it there. But there are other times where we have to busy ourselves about His business and learn and grow from it. This is my desire.

Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.
Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
Psalm 37:4-7

So with a light heart but a heavy mind, I move on and get on with the journey. I'm not depressed or sad or upset. I'm resolved to doing what I know I have to do. He's set this road before me and I'm ready to walk it. Please join me by praying with me and for me.

Chuseok

So here we are celebrating our 1 month anniversary of arriving here in the Republic of South Korea. I have to say that it has gone by really fast.
I am loving it here. I admit that every once in a while I feel the pangs of missing home. It is not that often, but it does happen. I am happy here. God has blessed me immensely. In fact today was the second time I felt like I was in a foreign country. The first time was when we arrived at the airport and there were korean people everywhere! It only happened for a moment, but it was there. God is keeping my heart here, though. The honeymoon is not over!

So Wednesday is Chuseok or the Korean Thanksgiving. Families will go back to their hometowns to visit family, eat rice cake, and visit graves of those who have gone before. It started almost as a way to thank ancestors for the harvest and what has been provided. To some degree, many koreans still do this. Now while my family will probably do this on Wednesday, my prayer is that somehow they will take me to see my grandmother's grave on Thursday. I wasn't horribly close to my grandma, but I remember that she was kind to me and loved me. I want to see it for my mom. I'm pretty sure my mom has been there, but I think it would be good to do that. I think it would be good to represent the family.

I am going to enjoy my 3 days off. Yes we get 3 days off in the middle of the week. It's pretty awesome. I will miss my kids, but sometimes you have to be away from someone to miss them ;) I'll probably get some schoolwork done. Maybe! I'll probably clean, too. Maybe!

Curiouser and curiouser....

This week has been extremely interesting. What's even more interesting is that I say this week and it's only Monday! I guess I mean the past 5 or 7 days has been interesting. School has been good and crazy. My kids seem to be getting what I am teaching them, so that is good. On the other hand it is a big struggle to get some of them to do anything. I pray God gives me more patience. Please pray the same for me! :)

I'm also asking for prayer because this week I start tutoring two students in my fifth and sixth grade english class. See, what I do is trade my math for their teacher's english. ok maybe that wasn't that clear, and I'm supposed to be teaching English. Great. Anyhoo. He teaches my fourth graders math and I teach his fifth and sixth graders english. Ok. Back to the original point. These two girls need extra tutoring in english. I mean the language, not the subject. Mostly I will help them with their homework, but the goal is overall improvement. I'm asking for wisdom and knowledge from Almighty God Himself as to how to help these girls. I don't want them to walk away not knowing anything, and to be quite honest, I don't want to look like the dumb teacher who doesn't know anything. So perhaps my prayer request is a bit selfish, but it is also for good. ;)

In my selfishness, I also ask that you pray this for me. (thanks Sanford if you are reading)

Ephesians 1:15-19

¹⁵For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, ¹⁶I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. ¹⁷I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. ¹⁸I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, ¹⁹and his incomparably great power for us who believe.

I will pray this for you all. I love you all and I miss you. I cry as I write this because God is touching my heart, my very soul. He is using this time in my life (that is sometimes such a struggle (I will probably have gray hairs ;)) and making me stronger for this moment. I am eternally grateful and I love my savior!

Open House and 1st Day

I really wanted to think of a more creative title, but I'm pretty worn out.

Yesterday was open house. I had a list of 7 students. Of those I met 3 of their parents. I did meet another student's parents. He had just registered that day. It was good. I was a little nervous, but pretty comfortable. There was only 1 parent that made me a bit nervous, but I think it was just me. Then one of the parents decided to take all the teachers out to dinner. It was pretty awesome. I came home smelling of bacon grease and stuffed. We then proceeded to do p90x and I almost died. But it was great!!

Today was the first day of school. The kids were super well behaved (of course because it was the first day ;), but I don't think I did what I thought I would, if that makes sense.

The day went by pretty quickly. I don't know if what I planned was good enough or low enough for their level, but they worked their brains off.

Tomorrow I will be teaching english to the 5th and 6th graders. This is going to be a bit challenging because there are 17 students. Then, there is a student who has learning disabilities. I know it will be tough, but I know God will get me through it.

Well after school (half day) another parent bought us lunch (eating way too much!). We ate a bunch and all the teachers hung out. Then we sat at a nice little cafe. I guess think Kinley's or The Bagel Cafe and kind of Starbucksy. We did some work and we shared some stories that made us cry.

These students are really in a bad place. Some have great families, but educationally they are behind. Some have horrible families and are educationally behind, or are not. It's a big mix of students who need lots of love and attention. They need a lot of prayer and so do we. It won't be easy for us to have help our students go through this. We may feel stressed, but more importantly we may be down because we can't help them the way we want to. They go through so much and laws and customs are different here, making it next to impossible for us to help them. However, we can pray for them. We can love them. We may never see the fruit of this and that will be the hardest part. But Abraham only saw the tiniest part of God's promise to him come true. We must continue on because this is where He has us, because those kids need us, and because we need those kids.

(Getting off the soapbox) We did a little home shopping and I got some Bori cha! yay! I love the food here. I have yet to crave american food. The only problem is that koreans eat and eat and eat. Oh and they are still skinny. So I've gotten a few stares here and there but I haven't let it get to me. I'm trying to work on it but everyone wants to take us out to eat. The good thing is that I've saving lots of money but I'm still stuffed. I plan on cutting out most rice and some noodles, but who knows how that will go. So please pray for me on that.

Alright ya'll. This is it for tonight. Short and sweet I know. I have to get up early. There is a typhoon coming and school is still in session for us but we will see what happens.

Numbers 6:24-26

Tired and Not Ready!

Well. I tried uploading this video. hope it worked. my computer is weird so if there is lag, sorry!

Tick Tock Tick Tock

Well time is running out. Charissa and I are leaving in 17 days. I've packed and mailed and I still have more to pack and mail! There is so much I wanna take with me, but I am reminded of (and convicted by) the part in the bible where Jesus sends the disciples out to spread the Gospel.

Mark 6: 6b-13

Then Jesus went around teaching from village to village. ⁷Calling the Twelve to him, he sent them out two by two and gave them authority over evil spirits.

⁸These were his instructions: "Take nothing for the journey except a staff—no bread, no bag, no money in your belts. ⁹Wear sandals but not an extra tunic. ¹⁰Whenever you enter a house, stay there until you leave that town. ¹¹And if any place will not welcome you or listen to you, shake the dust off your feet when you leave, as a testimony against them."

¹²They went out and preached that people should repent. ¹³They drove out many demons and anointed many sick people with oil and healed them.

He tells them not to take anything extra with them. I tell you I have pared and pared and pared some more down! It's hard. You wanna have enough but not too much and you aren't sure where that point is especially because this is your first trip there. Technically this is my second trip, but i don't think I can remember all we took for 2 weeks when I was 8! Not to mention, my mom planned it all.

All that aside, I am feeling a bit spiritually dry and I know it's because I'm letting all the stuff get in the way. My "image" seems to be more important than what God wants. Lord, heal my heart. Forgive my unbelief, my disobedience. To be quite honest all this stuff is adding stress to stress on top of stress! I want to be done with the stress. I know that in a week and a half all of this will not matter because I will have more to concentrate on. It is still so hard!

On a side note, the support and love that has been pouring in is amazing. So many people are surrounding me and lifting me up, that I am overwhelmed by it all sometimes. God is so good to me and I don't deserve it. I think I might know a tiny bit what it means for Him to lavish His love on me.

Here I am....Lord send me!

This has been my prayer for a number of years. Not knowing what was going on with my life, or the plan that God had, I was desperate to find the place that He had for me. After having a pretty successful run in college, I'd suddenly hit a brick wall. I couldn't pass this test for the life of me! I could not graduate. My focus turned from God to everything else. I became depressed. I thought I could have a successful career as a teacher if only God would let me! I blamed Him. I blamed myself for not being prepared. I blamed others for distracting me. I just needed an answer and I couldn't understand why I didn't have one. This all started in December of 08. Fast forward to April 2010. I've just found out about a teaching position open in a christian school in South Korea. As sort of a joke I told my friend Charissa that I wanted to fill that position. Even though I was partially joking, I wanted to be a part of this. So, I got the position. They preferred a teacher with a degree and who was certified. I was not that teacher. They gave me the position without so much as a second interview! It was God. Then I found out I had to come up with the money for a plane ticket, and they would reimburse me once I got there. How was I gonna come up with at least $1200? Just the other day someone told me not to worry about it, it was taken care of! What?! It was God. I also need to send a bunch of stuff to South Korea and that's gonna cost a lot of money. A friend gave me some money specifically for that reason. It was God. I also wanted to get some vaccines before I went to South Korea. Although unnecessary, they were recommended and I wanted to be protected. Another friend gave me some money for that! It was God. My parents don't need any extra money, but my mom had wanted some money to take me shopping for some clothes and to send me to South Korea with some spending money until I got paid the first time. At about the time she made this request known to God her friend offered a part time job in her shop downtown. So, now she has the extra money she wanted to use to help me. It was God. Things are coming together. And let me be the first to say that I don't deserve any of this! God is providing things for me that I could never have gotten myself. This is the beginning of a major adventure in my life. More than that, this is the continuation of God building up my faith in the most amazing way!

PRAISE THE LORD

The Proud Parents

Brothers

Johany

Josiah

Getting....

Ok. So I realize that I am starting to get older. Let me reiterate for those of you who may not understand. I am barely beginning to start the process of getting older. I am taking the first step in a really really really loooonnnngggg journey. Anyhoo, now that this is clear let me explain how I know this. I can be dead tired, but if I wait until after 11 pm to try to go to sleep I am wide awake. It takes probably an hour for me to go to sleep. I also seem to be waking up during the middle of the night as well. I don't know if this has anything to do with not going to sleep before 11 or not, but it still stinks none the less. How do I know that this means that I am getting old? Well you see a long long time ago a very wise OLD person told me that this was happening to him. It was much worse for him though as he would stay up almost all night. That means he was very advanced in his years and had already been on this long journey. Am I worried about growing old? No. This means I am that much closer to seeing Jesus! I'm hoping that when I am able to start exercising again this problem will disappear. Not seeing Jesus, because that's not a problem; and not growing old because well there is just no way to stop that. No. I'm talking about the sleeping problem. I just wanted to explain that for all the older people who may be reading this blog. :)