Sleeplessness...

Here it is 12:43 am, and I can't sleep. It's probably all the coffee I had today. Oh well, what can I do? Blog, I guess...

A while back, maybe like a week, I looked at my blog and found out that I hadn't actually blogged anything since the end of September. This greatly surprised me, as I had been reassuring myself that I had, in fact, done much more. Once I found out what I had really done, I realized I needed to fix the problem.
So, then I posted a couple of videos... created by other people. These videos do chronicle a little bit of my journey here, but it took no effort on my part to put them on Blogger. So, I'm feeling a bit guilty. Maybe my guilt is keeping me up, but probably not.

So here is an attempt at a "real" blog update.

When I returned back to Korea, I was aware of how much I had missed it. Back in El Paso, I was somewhat disconnected from this place. I felt like my past time in Korea had been part of some alternative universe, or more realistically, part of my way distant past. But it wasn't that at all. What I began to realize, with a little help from my friends, is that I had become so absorbed in my life in El Paso, that I was beginning to lose myself. I was losing my true identity. I was submerging myself into a life that I did not belong in. What's so crazy is that while I was submerging myself into that life, I was at the same time completely bored and frustrated with that life!

Now I don't mean to step on any toes. I love my El Paso family. ALL of you. But here's the thing. The person God has made me to be for this time doesn't know how to fit into the El Paso life without returning to things that are a part of my old nature.
God brought me through a major change. He took things away from me that I had been trying so hard to get rid of myself. This was major, but it only happened as recently as April. I went through this change and dealt with it for a little while in El Paso. One could argue that if I was ok at least for a few months then, why couldn't I be ok for a month now?
From my change in April to my departure in August, I was pretty much consumed with my leaving to Korea. There was the application to ACA, the waiting, the celebration, the planning, and then the packing! Don't even get me started on the packing. Anyhow, after all that was saying goodbye to everyone. I didn't have time to worry about how to deal with the change.
However, when I got back to El Paso in December, I had nothing but time. Now, I am absolutely positive that I could have used that time way more wisely. But I just shut down. First of all, I didn't really want to be in El Paso at that time. Sure, it was great to see everyone, but... well I don't know if I can really explain it. Second, I went from focus and extreme busyness everyday, to not doing a darn thing! I was itching for things to do, but I did some of the wrong things.

So now that I've left my Egypt, and come back to my Israel, my soul is more at peace. Do I still have trouble being consistent in my seeking the Lord and staying focused on my work? Yes. But I desire nothing more than to be here with a purpose, a passion, a focus. I have that. I need to learn how to find that in other places, but having it here, I am complete.
I don't know what will happen once I go back to El Paso in July, but I'm not going to worry about that now. I will take time to pray about it, but for right now I am content with where God has me.

Well, now that all that is out of the way ;)

We came back and got right back into the groove of things. It's amazing how much I missed having Korean food all the time. I love this stuff!
I've also started to work out. Right now I'm doing Tae bo and a workout by The Biggest Loser which kicks my behind! Please pray that I can stay committed to this and be healthy. That is one of my biggest concerns. I know that as I get older, it will get harder and harder to shed the pounds. I really am concerned about this and I no longer want to be a slave to my body. I hope that when I read this again in six months I can say I did it, and I won't be hanging my head in shame!

School started on February 1st. Then we had a five day weekend thanks to Lunar New Year. In a way it was great because we three girls spent some time in Seoul. But on the other hand, I miss the kiddos. Not only that, I was ready to get them back into the routine and the swing of things. Well I guess I'll be able to do that in just a few short hours!

So we went to Seoul. We decided we didn't want to have to spend numerous hours on the subway. This led to us staying at the Koreana Hotel. It was pretty nice. On Friday we explored a bit and had lunch and coffee. We were able to relax. That night we went to Seoul Art Museum and saw an awesome exhibit! The only artist's name that I can remember was Picasso. There were many other talented artists whose work was on display, but I'm not informed enough to remember their names. Sorry!
While I really enjoyed the entire experience, there is one occasion that stands out in my mind more than all the rest. I was looking at Picasso's David and Bathsheba. It's a really interesting painting. But I realized as I was looking at it and searching it and really trying to figure it out, that I had blocked out all the other people around me. Being that Korea just had a national holiday, the place was packed. But I was standing there and I heard nothing and saw nothing. I saw only that painting. Now, no offense to Picasso, but the painting is not that beautiful. However, it got me thinking and that is pretty awesome.


So the next day we went to Seoul tower and walked and walked and walked and walked some more! It was awesome to see the view and to think about how communication took place back then. It was also awesome to look down from the top of that mountain and think about what it would look like before there was a megacity down there.
Then we went to Myeongdong and did a bit of shopping. We got to meet our friend Jay there. Prior to seeing him we climbed a ton of stairs and did a lot of walking. I was looking forward to sitting for a long time! We ended the night with a good dinner and some great company. I think I can confidently say that a good time was had by all. :)

Now it's time to get back to work! :D

I think this blog will hold me for a while, at least until the next big thing happens!