Friday, June 15, 2012

Privileged

Last year I put together a CD of some pictures and videos from the year to share with the kids.  I wanted to make that a lasting tradition as long as I'm at ACA.  Tonight I've been spending time organizing pictures for this year's CD for the kids.

I was browsing through Facebook trying to see which pictures I could "borrow."    I stumbled upon a picture taken in the Philippines during the 2011 mission trip.  To most it wouldn't be considered a spectacular picture, but to me it was amazing.  It brought back memories and such emotion that all I could was stop and stare at it.

Then it occurred to me that the Lord has blessed me immensely.  I mean, He's always blessed me, but this year I supposed it's kind of different.  I am thinking of all the ministry opportunities He's allowed me to be a part of.

I originally came to South Korea just to be the 4th grade teacher at ACA.  But I quickly found out that teaching 4th grade would not be the only thing I did.  I became involved in teaching the Middle School and High School girls' Bible study alongside some other teachers.  That was such a challenge and still is, but it is a huge blessing.   What has been truly amazing is watching the girls grow in their relationships with the Lord.  The fact that He would allow me to not only see that, but that He would allow me to be a part of that just blows me away.

Then in 2011, I went on my first ever short term missions trip.  I was ridiculously blown away by everything I experienced in the Philippines and the amount of preparation that went into the trip.  Not only did I learn so much, I was ready to drop everything and move to the Philippines to become a full time missionary!  Then in 2012, we returned again, and I realized that while I loved it there God's place for me was in South Korea.

Also in 2011, my principal, who had a Korean church, started an English service as well.  He asked us to be a part of serving there.  How could I not?  It has been a blessing to serve in different ways there.

But one thing he really wanted was for our church to be a part of a lot of outreach and missions (which I love!!  :).  First, we started going to a local orphanage which is amazing.  It does make me realize the need for me to learn Korean, though.  Playing with the kids is one thing, but a stronger bond can be better formed through language.

Then we started a ministry where we go out to the local clubs and bars to reach out to the girls who work there.  That has changed my life. This is not something I would ever ever do on my own.  God has placed these girls in my heart, and I love to serve them.

Relatively recently, we became aware of our own "red light" street here in Dongducheon.  We so want to reach out to those girls and rescue them from the yoke of slavery that hangs around their neck.  While they may be there voluntarily (or not, we are not sure of their circumstances), they are still in slavery to sin.  We want them to know that this is not the only way and YHWH loves them and has hope to offer them and wants to break their chains.  Now unlike the clubs, we can't just walk into this area, but being able to pray for them has been such a privilege and I feel like God has put such a burden on my heart for them, a HEAVY burden.

There are a million bazillion other things going on. To be honest it is easy to get bogged down without depending on the strength of Jesus.  But He sustains me and I'm still here.  I'm astounded that He chooses to use me.

26 Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28 God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, 29 so that no one may boast before him. 30 It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31 Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.”   


1 Corinthians 1


Anything I'm doing right now and anything I have right now is because He's doing it and because He's given it to me.  I have to be reminded of that constantly.  I start to rely on myself and the things of this world rather than the creator and the giver of all good things.  Praise God  that He is allowing me to be a part of the work He is doing in South Korea.

Tuesday, June 05, 2012

Jericho

So, I haven't posted here in a while. At first this seemed to be an easy way to keep everyone updated on what was going on in my life, but I don't think many people read my posts. I really don't care how many people read my posts; it's not about how many people read my posts. (Ok. So I care a little bit. I am human after all. Gotta feed that ego something) I suppose it was supposed to just be about an "easy" way to tell a lot of people at the same time about the things going on in my life.

 But then...

 Then it became a burden. I felt overwhelmed with sharing here. I thought it was just because of all the things I have to do. Well, let's not count that out completely. The truth is that I am busier here than I have ever been anywhere in my entire life.

But as I sit and contemplate it, I realize the root of the matter is that it is hard for me to be real. I still have this wall up. I've had it up for a long time. For about 10+ years now. Now to some people that may not be a long time, but that's a third of my life. You may ask, "What does this wall have to do with you posting a blog or not?"

Go ahead. Ask.

 Well, let me tell you. Writing and/or speaking becomes a burden when you don't want to share everything about yourself with others. Writing/Speaking become burdens when you don't want to let people in and you don't want them to know certain things. Let's get another thing straight here and now. There is nothing I feel like I have to hide, but I just have problems with letting everything out. I am definitely not an open book. 

Now I certainly don't believe that we have to let everyone know everything all of the time. But I do believe that there are many times when God calls us to be open, vulnerable. Am I afraid of what people might say and might think? Sure. That goes back to being hurt a long time ago. I'll gladly tell you about it, if you ask. For now, however, let's just say I trusted someone with extremely sensitive and private information about myself, only to later find out that everyone heard all about it.

 So, I now have issues. I know I have to forgive and forget and all that other stuff, but it ain't easy. But what I do know, for sure, is that God is faithful. He has been faithfully chipping away at that wall for a long long time. He won't stop until it is low enough for people to step over and come on in. He tells me I have to be open to reach the people that are a part of the various ministries I'm involved in. So what does He do? He makes me live with 2 people who seem to have no walls at all. Maybe they do have walls, I don't know. But as far as I can see they love me unconditionally, and they let me in. Now, they may not do that with everyone. It may be because we are in a special situation in which we live, work, and worship together. But I've learned so much from them both and God has used them to continue to tear down the wall and soften my heart. He's also used them as wonderful examples on how to be open to other people.

 I have no scripture for you now. I only know that I want to be open and so I ask that you pray for me on this.

 If I seem cold or distant, or if you haven't heard from me in a while, please forgive me. It's not that I don't care. It's that I am working things out and I am extremely, extremely, did I mention extremely busy?

 p.s. don't tell my kids how many sentences I started with the word "but", and don't tell them I used the word "ain't" and don't tell them about punctuation or grammatical errors. thank you.